May 17

On the Smallness of Your Life: A Simple Way to End Suffering

9  comments

“A true genius admits that he/she knows nothing” ~ Albert Einstein.

Let’s face it.

We all want to be big.

And I’m not just talking about the obvious ways we manifest this desire: bigger car, bigger house, bigger job.

Because underlying the obvious ways we want to be big are the non-obvious drivers of these desires: more respect, more recognition, a greater sense of self-worth.

Why are we so obsessed with wanting to be big? We’re terrified of being humiliated, which is basically when we’re made to feel small.

If you think you’re exempt from these desires, think again. Think about the ways you suffer when you feel you’ve been treated unjustly, talked down to, or ignored. Think about your choices about how you dress, the car you drive, the neighborhood you live in. Understand that most of these choices are driven by your fears about how others might perceive you.

We all have an intense desire to live lives that matter. This is the heart of our desire to be big.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be big. It’s just that most of us are motivated by our fear of humiliation instead of manifesting a reality that already is.

We don’t need to make ourselves big. We don’t need to bring others down in the process. We don’t need to try to control every aspect of our lives.

We just need to be authentic and see clearly who we are in relation to reality.

Want to be big? Embrace the smallness of your life

I just returned from a week-long vacation with my wife in Oregon. We spent the majority of our time on hiking trails in Mount Hood National Forest. This place truly felt like an enchanted forest: majestic trees rising hundreds of feet into the air, breathtaking waterfalls just as tall, and green moss that covered the trees and forest floor.

Multnomah Falls

Multnomah Falls

In a place like this, it’s nearly impossible to be preoccupied with your daily concerns, fears, and worries. In these woods time stands still as a sense of awe envelops you. Our petty concerns that drive our lives are exposed for what they truly are—illusions.

The moment of truth for me came when I laid my eyes on Mount Hood for the first time. This time of the year, you can only get glimpses of the mountain as it’s usually hiding behind clouds. But one day, the clouds parted and the mountain revealed itself.

Mount Hood

Mount Hood

In that moment, I fully embraced the smallness of my life. In embracing my smallness my suffering became just as small and I became as big as that mountain.

Who do you think you are?

In the story of Job in the Bible, Job challenges God to provide evidence of his wrongdoing that justified his suffering. God responds:

“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
Tell me if you know so much.
Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line?
What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?” (Job 38:4-7)

God’s basic response to Job’s challenge is “Who do you think you are?”

As I was experiencing the beauty of the Northwest, this question was on my mind. And this is the question you should ask yourself when you feel like life is treating you unfairly, when you feel humiliated, and when you feel like you’re not in control of your life.

Ask yourself this question everyday. It will be key to ending your suffering.

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  • Being out in nature is such a gentle way of being asked that, “Who do you think you are?!” question. It doesn’t have any of the aggression and bullying we humans have when we ask it of each other.

  • Thank you for this reminder. I always so small (and awe-struck, and wonderful, and connected to everything) when I look up at the stars at night.

  • Hello Cylon,
    Thank you for this lovely post – absolutely spot on.
    It’s that ego thing interfering when there is no need. Shouting out ‘I am!’ and by so doing drawing attention to being separate from everybody and everything else.
    But, as your contributors say, by being absorbed by the wonders of the outside world, we are no longer frightened by our aloneness and separateness but are one with the universe.
    Thank you.

    • Thank you Kim for your wonderful and kind words!! Yes, we are truly infinite souls….sometimes I forget that about myself and about other people. I got a powerful reminder this past week.

  • Cylon, this is great food for thought and will be helpful for me… Though physical suffering is awful and usually (seemingly) unbearable, in the moment, it’s fairly easy for me to get through mentally and emotionally. Keeping it in perspective is key for me by remembering… it’s my own fault (i.e. overindulging/overdoing), OR more often… I can get through this because Jesus showed me how… AND… remembering to be thankful because it’s never as bad as what others have to endure is key. BUT… mental and emotional suffering (unfair treatment, humiliation)- in these areas, I tend to want vindication. I fail to ask the question, “Who do you think you are?” It’s these areas I need to work on and learn to let go, remember I am NOT Mount Hood! But, I am a big as Mount Hood if I just let it go. Even thinking about doing this makes me feel bigger already!

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