February 17

The Unconventional Path to Resilience

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“Being okay if it happens and okay if it doesn’t happen is a very powerful place to be.”

Unknown

What are you most afraid of?

Though only you know the answer to that question, I’m guessing it likely involves the loss of something.

Your phone. 

Your job. 

Your relationship.

Your prestige. 

Your children. 

Your life.

Maybe you don’t allow yourself to think of what life would be like without the things and people you believe you can’t live without.

It’s understandable. It’s painful to acknowledge the prospect of loss.

But you can become more resilient by contemplating these fears. By doing so, you are rehearsing for the inevitable. And by rehearsing, you will stop being afraid and learn to welcome everything.

Try to get a sense of what it would feel like to welcome the unwelcomable. How would you respond? What would you turn to? Who would you lean on? 

Of course, it’s impossible to know how anyone would actually respond if the worst happened. This keeps us humble. No one is immune from the possibility of heartbreak. But that possibility need not imprison you in the present moment. 

Instead of trying to ignore your worst fears, gently acknowledge them. You’ll gradually find yourself not grasping so much to the things you’re most afraid of losing.

You’ll enjoy them instead.

And when your heart does get broken by inevitable loss, it will eventually heal. You’re already more resilient than you think. Your healed scars prove it.

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