“A really humble man…will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.” ~ C.S. Lewis
Think you’re a humble person?
Think of a situation when someone tried to correct you in public or offer unsolicited feedback. How about that time when someone less deserving than you got the award or recognition while your contributions were barely noticed?
Yea, let’s not kid ourselves. It’s hard to be humble. But it’s only hard because of our misguided notions of what humility really is.
What humility is not
Truth is, humility is not high on the list of virtues in our culture. It is often taken to mean that one is weak, submissive, and lowly in the estimation of others.
We incorrectly believe that a humble person probably thinks less of himself, downplays her gifts, or is silent when treated unjustly. Humility is none of these. Humility is not about thinking badly of yourself, it’s not thinking about yourself at all.
In fact, downplaying your gifts and thinking less of yourself only leads to resentment, which is nothing more than a hyper focus on yourself.
According the C.S. Lewis in his classic Mere Christianity, here’s what you’re likely to encounter when you meet a truly humble person:
“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is a nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.”
3 signs of a humble person
This powerful passage is key to understanding what true humility is. Still not sure how to separate true humility from false humility? Here are three signs that you’re in the presence of a genuinely humble person:
1. They don’t go around saying they’re humble
In fact, Lewis says that if you aspire to humility the first step is “to realize that one is proud.” Paradoxically, the humble person freely acknowledges their pride and how easily this weakness can be uncovered.
And this is no small admission because according to Lewis “Nearly all those evils in the world which people put down to greed or selfishness are really far more the result of Pride.” He defines Pride as “the pleasure of being above the rest.”
Genuinely humble people are masters of self-awareness. They continually acknowledge their tendency towards Pride.
2. They talk less and listen more
Perhaps the central characteristic of a humble person is that they think of others instead of themselves. This means that in conversation, they’re more interested in hearing what you have to say than what they have to say. They are masters at being genuinely interested in other people.
Humble people develop a level of curiosity which drives them to learn from the best instead of striving to be above the rest.
3. They choose being at peace over being right
Many of us argue with others over relatively small things. A small disagreement over where to eat can easily lead to an epic battle of wills. You may win the battle but you’ll most likely lose your peace in the process.
Humble people resist the urge of always wanting to be right. They’re willing to admit error when they are wrong, they allow others to save face when they’re right, and they don’t take things personally. They are masters of letting go and moving on. This is their secret to enjoying life.
Strive to be humble
People who are joyful and peaceful don’t acquire these qualities by accident.
They realize that having a genuinely humble heart is key to a life of happiness. You too can experience greater levels of happiness by striving to be humble.
Stop thinking about yourself. Stop talking. Stop fighting.
And watch the power of humility transform your life and the lives of those around you.
Thank you for this post, Cylon,
Someone once told me that, – you can be right or you can be happy. That made me think.
I think as we get older, it’s easier to listen than to chat – hopefully because we have learned not to burden ourselves with nonsense in the first place and which subsequently needs disgorging.
A nice, calming post – thank you.
You’re welcome Zara 🙂
There are some excellent points in this article, but I disagree with some of the others.
Yes, humility is thinking less of yourself. In fact, the apostle Paul told us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Also, the notion that we are never to think about ourselves is ridiculous. The key is balance, and avoiding self-centeredness. Certainly, thinking about others more and ourselves less is something to strive for, but nowhere does the Bible ever say that we should never think about ourselves.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Honestly, there’s nothing you wrote here that I disagree with. I wouldn’t say that we never think about ourselves. Nor would I invoke the Bible in making such a claim. But I was struck by the idea…inspired by C.S. Lewis’ words…that what often passes for humility is really just another form of pride. It gave me food for thought. It’s very humbling to know that even in my efforts to be humble, I may be revealed to just another prideful soul…
Yep. 🙂
I think the keyword is striving to be more humble and the Bible also states …ther shall be no other gods before me. So talk it out w God and He will make it clear!
Years later and your still helping people. I am sharing this with my family. Often we need to be reminded of humility. If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear.
Thank you & continue to serve.
let the truth be known; brother. amen.