“There are only four kinds of people in the world. Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver” ~ Rosalyn Carter.
O God,
We live in the shadows.
Our efforts and pain barely seen.
We are caregivers. Men and women given the daunting task of caring for loved ones who are sick and dying.
Some people think we’re saints. Others are sorry for us. Others still judge our decisions. All of them glad not to be us.
I would like to think I’m a saint, but I’m mostly exhausted and angry. I am appalled at how quickly my grief stricken heart hardened.
I am angry because I feel so alone and abandoned. Other relatives refuse to share the burden with me. Some of them offering only criticism.
I am angry with my loved one for being sick. They won’t eat. They won’t get up. They’ve lost interest in everything they once loved. I know they don’t choose to be this way, but I can’t help but blame them for not getting better.
I am angry because my own health is failing. But who will take care of me? I’m so scared to be sick.
I am angry because my finances are in shambles. I can no longer afford to do the things I want to do.
I am angry because people don’t know what to say around me. They either offer platitudes or just avoid me altogether. The stress is so unbearable, I marvel that I am still here, performing my solemn duty.
I wish to be kind, gracious, thoughtful, magnanimous, open-hearted, selfless. Why am I so demanding toward myself? Would I expect another person going through similar challenges to be always kind and thoughtful?
I probably would say to them, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s understandable that you are angry. You’re doing the best you can.” Am I not worthy of this encouragement and reassurance?
Since I’m capable of extending kindness to someone in my position, may I learn to extend the same kindness toward myself.
Please help me, Lord
Help me to stop judging myself.
Help me to drop all the saintly expectations.
Help me to accept all my thoughts and emotions, even the ones that make me cringe in shame.
Help me to rest when I can.
Help me to offer myself the compassion I would freely offer another person in my shoes.
Help me to accept what’s happening to my loved one.
Help me to reach out for help.
Help me to accept offers of help.
Help me to find companions who understand what I’m going through.
Help me to forgive those who have abandoned me.
Help me to forgive those who say the wrong things out of ignorance.
Help me to forgive myself when I’m unkind.
Help me to take care of myself.
Finally, help me to be an encouragement to other caregivers. May we mutually support one another. May we be strengthened for the journey ahead. May my caregiving be a lasting testament to the power of love.
Thank you for making me worthy of this high calling.
Amen.
Thank you, Cylon, for a much needed and welcome articulation of feelings at a difficult time.
As Rosalyn Carter said, we are all involved.
Thank you and have a good week.
You’re most welcome Zara.
This is so NECESSARY! Thank you so much for this prayer. It’s not just for caregivers! Those of us who know caregivers can receive so much insight, and I pray it moves us to be more attentive to the needs of caregivers. I don’t know if you receive notifications when your posts are shared, but I just shared this one on FB… I know many who can benefit – whether they are caregivers or not.
Thanks for the share Eva! I fully agree. My wife and I were just talking about how much of this can apply to parents too. Few of us are untouched by the issues caregivers face. Thanks again for sharing 🙂
Oh you are so RIGHT! That this also applies to parents – who are 24/7 x 18+ yrears, caregivers!!
Thank you dear Cylon. I am a caregiver for my husband. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I feel I am not doing it right. I cry now. I am trying to get to terms with this situation and with myself. Thank you for your kind words and wisdom.
Martina, I am sorry for your pain. I am so glad the prayer is comforting. My prayers are with you and your husband. May you be strengthened and blessed for all that you’re doing for him.