“If we are growing we are always going to be outside our comfort zone.” ~ John C. Maxwell
There’s no shame in admitting it.
You crave a comfortable life. Who doesn’t?
We want to feel like we’re in control of our lives. We want things to be predictable and familiar.
Staying within our comfort zones give us a sense of safety — physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
Conversely we hate discomfort, especially the kind that challenges our own preferences, assumptions, and beliefs. When it shows up, we often attack or avoid it.
The problem with comfort zones
The great irony here is that our comfort zones are anything but comfortable.
They may be familiar, they may feel safe in the moment, they may even be pleasurable, but never comfortable.
In fact, living in your comfort zone is more akin to addiction. We’re all highly prone to becoming addicted to our own ways of thinking. In other words, we’re all prone to spiritual addiction.
Fr. Richard Rohr captured the essence of what it means to be in your “comfort zone” when he wrote:
“We all take our own pattern of thinking as normative, logical, and surely true, even when it does not fully compute.”
Instead of being a haven of peace, a comfort zone can quickly become a private hell. And, contrary to the popular saying, I’m not so sure the devil you know is any better than the devil you don’t know.
Are you addicted to your comfort zone?
How do you know whether you’re addicted to your comfort zone? See if any of these ring true for you:
- Do you avoid being around people who do not think like you?
- Are you slow to let go beliefs or ideas that no longer serve you?
- Do you struggle to say “I don’t know”?
- Do you have a hard time admitting when you’re wrong?
- Are you easily angered by criticism, even when it’s helpful?
- Do you see anyone who disagrees with your worldview as wrong, bad, or evil?
If you answered yes to most of these, you are in good company. Most of us struggle when confronted with ways of thinking that run counter to our own. And this is precisely why we need discomfort.
Why is discomfort good for you?
Because it’s the antidote to your spiritual addiction.
Because it will make you a better listener, bridge builder, and peacemaker.
Because it will increase your capacity for empathy and kindness.
Because, while comfort zones divide, our discomfort zones will unite us.
And we’ll all be better for it.
Photo credit: MabelAmber, 2016, via //pixabay.com/photos/feet-shoes-sneakers-legs-1567104/
Thank you, Cylon, for this very thought provoking post. I’m going through a time of extreme discomfort, and your perspective is very helpful.
You’re welcome, Michael. May you be strengthened during this time of difficulty.
Hello Cylon,
Thank you for this – it did make me think and admit that
I do have some trouble abandoning anything – I feel uncomfortable letting go of
people, situations, and belongings
even when I know they are doing me no good and when I’m not helping them
either.
However, in my own defence, I would observe that many of our
institutions are far worse than that. They have institutionalized
a regime of bureaucratic comfort and will continue with procedures and
attitudes long after they have proved useless if not harmful.
Trying to feel comfortable and secure in an ever
changing world is, as you say, understandable but I guess we just have to try
and habituate ourselves to ‘go with the flow’ (and not get washed away!)
Thank you, Cylon.