“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.”
John O’Donohue
We may not know each other (at least not yet).
But I know this. We’re all carrying around labels—words and phrases that seek to convey a sense of who we are to ourselves and others.
Some of your first and most significant labels were given to you by your family and close friends. Others by acquaintances and strangers. Others still were self-appointed.
Maybe you’ve come to regard your labels as absolute truth. You’re likely aware of some of them but unaware of many more. Some of them may be positive but I’d bet that a majority of them are negative.
Your labels likely control how you think and feel about yourself. The negative ones may cause you to feel bad about yourself. But the positive ones may leave you feeling worse when you’re unable to attain their lofty demands.
What are your labels?
Here’s a sample list:
Afraid
Angry
Apathetic
Bitch
Black
Boring
Conservative
Courageous
Crazy
Disciplined
Entrepreneur
Follower
Funny
Guilty
Industrious
Innocent
Intelligent
Lazy
Leader
Liberal
Loner
Looser
Loving
Parent
Poor
Principled
Rich
Stupid
Successful
Talented
Ugly
Unkind
Untrustworthy
White
What labels do you carry that are missing from the list? Start your own
Now go to each label and ask yourself these questions:
- Who gave me this label?
- Why is it important to me?
- How is this label serving or not serving me?
- Who would I be without this label?
You are not your labels
If you’re thinking, “I’d be nothing without my labels,” consider this instead:
Your labels would be nothing without you.
In other words, your labels need you more than you need them.
If you believe that your labels define you, know that you define your labels and that you, in fact, transcend them.
Because you are not your labels. You never were and you never will be. Does this scare you? Don’t worry because you get to decide which labels to keep and which to lose.
It’s all up to you.
And that’s good news.
Thanks for posting.
An intriguing exercise that I am almost looking forward to doing.
I hope to report back with anything revealing (probably more likely to be embarrassing!)
I know I tend to hide behind labels simply because it’s easy – particularly for other people’s expectations of who I am.
Thank you, Cylon.
You’re welcome Zara. Always appreciate your candor and willingness to do the uncomfortable!
I recognize myself in a number of the labels you listed, at least at some point in my life or another. But, I’m so thankful that the one that immediately comes to mind now is “child of God.” God gave us all this label. It’s important because it offers comfort and a knowing that I can do all things necessary because He strengthens me. This label serves me well, because I’ve said it often enough to myself, and I’ve seen how accepting this label has healed me, that I now fully believe it. Without this label, I’d be a lot more of the negative labels you listed! Do I “feel” this label constantly? No, but that’s when I most need to believe it. I’m truly not intending to sound “pompous,” because I am nothing without this label. I hope any of your readers who don’t recognize this as one of their labels will speak it until they believe it!