If you’re going through hell, keep going.
attributed to Winston Churchill
I’d bet that over the past few months you’ve felt discouraged more than a few times.
With the uncertainty around COVID-19, the ensuing economic crisis, and now the global protests sparked by the killing of George Floyd, “discouraged” may be understating the reality of what a lot of us are feeling.
On the issue of racial justice, I’ve gone from being in the depths of despair to feeling more hopeful as the voices of the unjustly treated are being heard and systemic issues are finally beginning to be addressed.
But all it takes is another disturbing or discouraging news headline to plunge us back into darkness.
Some people have described 2020 as a marathon. For me, it’s been a long storm with seemingly few breaks of sunshine.
Despite this, I somehow find the strength to get up and keep going because I know I’ve gotten through hard times before and that I have what it takes to navigate the current storm.
If you’ve been feeling discouraged, I wanted to share 13 strategies I’ve been using to help me through. Without a strategy, discouragement can quickly lead to hopelessness.
Even though times are hard, you can still find joy.
Here’s what you can do right now to help pick yourself up:
1. Breathe
Yes, I know you’ve heard this before but the most profound lessons in life are deceptively simple – and need to be heard over and over again.
Taking a few deep breaths help wake your brain and spirit up from discouragement.
It also helps connect you back to your body so you can feel grounded, no longer being carried away by your thoughts and feelings.
A bonus tip here is to smile as you breathe. I know, you don’t feel like smiling. Do it anyway. Do these together and you’ll begin to feel better almost immediately.
2. Walk
When I’m feeling discouraged, I go for long walks. It’s amazing how effective this can be in lifting my mood.
It also has the side benefit of making me more productive. I’ve written many of my posts on walks after being discouraged about feeling stuck and not knowing what to write about.
Walking helps me process my feelings and find a healthy outlet for my pent-up energy.
And of course, it’s a great form of exercise — which itself can help stave off feelings of discouragement.
3. Forgive
When you’re feeling discouraged, it’s easy to start beating yourself up for feeling the way you do. You feel like you should be tougher. You feel like you should have a handle on difficult situations by now.
You may also feel angry with others, the world, or God for the way you’re feeling in the moment.
That’s why you must commit to the practice of forgiveness. Forgive yourself. Forgive your family. Forgive your friends. Forgive your enemies. Forgive God.
Allow yourself to feel the weight of the world being lifted off your shoulders when you do.
4. Remember
Remember that you’ve gone through some things.
And you’re still standing.
You may not think you’re strong, but you’re stronger than you think. That may be because we often imagine strength as never showing emotion.
But your willingness to safely express your emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness or failure.
Your strength comes from your ability to connect with the core of your being. So draw on your inner resources and remember that you’re a survivor.
5. Connect
You may be tempted to isolate, especially in the era of social distancing, but resist this temptation.
Don’t go it alone.
Find creative ways to connect with friends. Meet each other in a park with masks on and practice social distancing. Call, Skype, or Zoom a friend. Write an email or a letter to someone you’ve not heard from in a long time.
Cultivating friendships can only help in times of stress.
6. Laugh
It might feel forced at first. Go ahead and laugh anyway. You’ll transform your discouragement into hope and activate your creativity.
If laughing feels like too much, start with a smile. Don’t worry about how silly it feels. Just turn the corner of your mouth upward. The effects will be similar.
7. Pray
Prayer is the simple act of opening your heart to realities beyond what you can see, hear, smell, or touch.
This can be helpful when you feel like the world is conspiring against you. You’ll begin to realize that it’s actually the opposite. You’ll find yourself more receptive to subtle ways God is reaching out a hand to help you.
All you need to do is accept the invitation and trust.
8. Live
When we feel discouraged, afraid, or overwhelmed, it’s easy to think that we must put our lives on hold.
But even when external circumstances restrict what you can do, you can still choose to live your life.
You may have to reframe what living looks like in the moment, but there’s no question that life will continue on. Let this reality encourage you.
9. Love
What’s love got to do with it?
Everything.
Everything comes back to love. When you’re down and discouraged, focus your love on the thing that’s currently bringing you pain.
Love the world. Love the fear. Love the uncertainty. Love your enemies.
Make room for the thing you think you cannot face. Meet it with love. It will pass through you without harming you.
Keep Going
When discouragement threatens to keep you stuck in your tracks, keep going.
Each of these tips can help you do just that.
Let these ideas be a starting point for your own strategies for moving forward.
Keep them handy and come back to them when you need a boost.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and comfort. I’ve been struggling a lot during this pandemic (even in Canada!). My work has been put on hold. I do art therapy with people dealing with mental health challenges. Not seeing my clients is very sad and sometimes overwhelms me. Take care Cylon.
Hi Helene, I can imagine how hard this time is for you. Boy, we really need your expertise now more than ever. Is there a way you could do some of this work online? I pray it won’t be too long before you’re with clients again! Hang in there.
I hear you Helene! I understand your sadness and the feeling of being overwhelmed. I’m an Ombudsman for a Nursing Home. This means I visit the residents weekly, and that ended in March. Until this month, I’ve felt so impotent. “Yeah, right, I’m going to call the Home and ask administrators if the residents are experiencing issues, and the administrator is going to admit there are issues!” Unlikely! If that were the case, the Ombudsman position would not be necessary. I truly believe I became depressed over this issue. I finally contacted the Program Director and explained, via email. I received a call from two of the people and just reaching out to them and talking this through, really energized me and got me started on the path of reaching out to the Home. WOW. I just realized that I DID put one of Cyon’s recommendations into practice… CONNECT! Are there others in your field that you can connect with?
Yes!
Thank you, Cylon! ♥
Happy ( early) Father’s Day to you !♥
Aww…thanks so much Laurie. Grateful for my kids and family this Father’s Day.
Thank you, Cylon.
Yes, like most of us, I’ve been struggling. Increased isolation just underlines how irrelevant I am.
Sending my kindest thoughts to you and yours.
You’re welcome Zara. You may feel irrelevant but fortunately your worth goes way beyond that 🙂 Peace be with you.
Profound in its simplicity! Thank you!! All of your comments were perfect and true for me, but I’ll add what else some have done for me. Breathe: Helps me diffuse my emotions to respond more appropriately without changing my point of view. Walk: remember 2010? My lawyer, and a guard at work encouraged me to walk. It changed my life, my outlook, and helped me feel good about myself. It became my drug of choice. Pray & Forgive: Prayer is required for me to forgive and help me try to better understand the individual – the why behind their words or behaviors. It doesn’t mean I need to continue subjecting myself to the “perp” but it has allowed me to find peace within and forgive the offender. Remember: Yes, remembering is so important. But, actually, I reminds me that I will not survive, I will thrive. Remembering my past reminds me, “I got this!” Laugh: In recent months, if I don’t laugh, anger grows. Somehow laughing helps me keep things in perspective and makes it easier for me to pray for the current machiavelianistic quasi-leader. Somehow laughing eases my extreme frustration and feeling of impotence with what is going on. Pray: prayer changes me. I discovered this related to a former boss. Horrible! So, I started praying FOR her! She didn’t change. But, I changed, and that change allowed me to accept her as she was and respond appropriately.
Beautiful! Thank you Eva 🙂