“What we need is to love without getting tired.” ~Mother Teresa
In Matthew 13, Jesus tells the parable of the sower. You’d expect a good and responsible farmer to prepare an area of rich soil and carefully plant his seeds there. Not this sower. His seeds fall everywhere: on a path, on rocky ground, among thorns, and on rich soil. You could say this farmer was reckless and wasteful.
In our lives, we tend to live the opposite way. We are very calculating about where to spend our energy and our resources. We often have more in common with Wall Street bankers and hedge fund managers than with this reckless farmer. We’re constantly looking for the best rate of return:
Will spending time with this person or that person advance my career?
If I give to this cause, will I be recognized?
If I help this person, will they return the favor?
If I love her, will she love me back?
It seems to make good sense. The only problem is that it’s tiring and discouraging. We’re disappointed when we see no return. We’re discouraged when we’re not loved back in the way we hoped. We lose our motivation when we don’t get the accolades and recognition we wanted.
The sower’s example shows us another way.
Be reckless with your love. Be generous to those who wish you well and those who wish you ill. Help those who cannot pay you back. Don’t get tired. Don’t say “What’s in it for me?” The world has enough investors. What we need is more reckless love.
I am fast to forgive. I am honest with myself and others. I live by the Golden Rule. But my life is crumbling. My relationships disappearing. And just as in my childhood, I’m never believed when I say something. At 44yrs old. I’m a much better employee than I was at 24yrs old. Yet I’ve been fired twice recently.
I’m a much better boyfriend/husband/partner and have never cheated on my gf. Yet she continues to portray me as untrustworthy and uses my past against me.
I made mistakes of course but tell the truth and I’m honest and fair. Yet I’m not being returned in kind.
I know that my integrity is stronger than its ever been. I keep my word. I speak and let my yes mean YES and no mean No.
I’m alone and I’m not living. I can’t pay my rent. There has been no success whatsoever. I fail. At life. But I seem to have a new ability. To know when people are projecting their issues onto me. But that does me little good.
I am so sorry to hear that you are facing these various challenges. It seems like you are in the midst of making some life changes in order to heal past experiences and mistakes.
I will like to encourage you to keep the faith and stay on your path, even when it feels like you are making no progress or that you not being believed.
Challenge the notion that you are not successful. Search your life for the small and maybe overlooked ways you have been successful in your relationships and in life. When we are dealing with big negatives, the “small” positives often get lost. Start to focus on the small positives and cultivate them, so they can grow larger….eventually larger than the negatives 🙂
I sure wanna say that advice is dumb but fortunately for me…I do believe that not only are you attuned to people’s feelings, but you also know yourself very well! It takes me back to center remembering to be thankful! And to. Count our pennies more closely rather than solely the dollars is sound financial advice and it applies to our self worth too! You cannot know how you helped me to remember that I have somethings to dust off! You are a friend! Thank you
If only people could be more reckless with their love eventually we all could love without limits. But I think the pain when it’s not mutual changes how giving we are with it. Great concept but hard to put to practice.
~Lea
Lea, I totally agree. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if more of us were willing to push past the pain, like a distance runner pushing through “the wall”? Is it possible that this concept could become a reality?
Hi Cylon,
Thank you for this reminder. I can certainly vouch for the fact that one never knows who one has helped in some small way and who will step forward and offer support when one has a problem. It doesn’t matter if a kindness is returned to its originator or if it goes off on a long journey spreading its message to all those who are receptive. A kindness, a love goes out into the world and does its thing – good.
BTW, hope your book – Self Love – is doing well. I did drop you an email four days ago – if you didn’t receive it, please let me know, and I’ll resend.
Kindest and thanks.
You’re so right Zara. It’s that “pay it forward” sort of thing. I’m so glad you enjoyed the book and I hope the message will spread far and wide. Be well 🙂
Helping without expecting anything in return, giving those who can never repay us back…We’ve shifted to “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Thanks for a powerful reminder-Reckless Love.
You’re welcome Ann 🙂