“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me.”
Mark 8:34
Some years ago I came across what looked like a comic strip that, in a few frames, delivered a dose of devastating (or hopeful) truth.
Here’s my reconstructed memory of it. In the first frame a young man is lumbering under the weight of a cross over his shoulder while being accompanied by a sea of others doing the same. They were all walking in the same direction with pained looks on their faces.
In the next frame he suddenly has a bright idea. He then acts on this idea by sawing his cross in half thus reducing the burden.
He then picks up his cross and begins walking again with a spring in his step and looking quite smug (remember, this is a reconstructed memory) until he is confronted by a cavernous gap in the earth.
The young man can only look on helplessly as the other people stretch their crosses over the gap to make a bridge. His is simply too short and he’s left stranded…
The impossible ask
One of the most challenging aspects of the Christian life for me is the invitation to take up my cross. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I’m also being asked to deny myself. To me this is like running a lifetime of ultra-marathons on nothing but salad and sips of water.
As with many things Jesus said, this feels quite impossible. Self-denial is not something we do well in our culture. It is not seen as a value but as something to be avoided at all costs.
It all boils down to the sentiment, “I want what I want when I want it.” It’s the reason why companies like Amazon pour untold resources into getting products to us as fast as possible. It’s very good for business.
The more our insatiable wants are catered to at lightning speed, the more foreign a concept like self-denial becomes. I can eat what I want, wear what I want, drive what I want, listen to what I want, and on and on.
Whatever you want, it’s yours. Yet, our crosses are heavier than ever.
Why?
How to lighten to load
Like the young man, I often mistakenly believe that I can avoid the cross by indulging all my wants and desires for comfort, esteem, pleasure, success, and ease.
I frequently forget that carrying the cross is not optional. It’s baked into the very fabric of what it means to be alive. So even as I seek comfort at every turn, I’m carrying around anger, bitterness, resentment, and shame instead. That stuff’s heavy.
That’s why the good Lord invites us to practice self-denial and self-emptying. The cross is heavy enough.
But we don’t have to carry all the extra load. And with a lighter load, you’ll be able to keep moving forward instead of feeling stranded.
Thank you very much, Cylon
Accepting challenges, instead of shirking them, strengthen us.
Will try to remember and with good grace!
You’re welcome Zara…let’s encourage each other!
This is GREAT! A hard pill to swallow, but one that we need to take for our betterment. Thank you! (PS, I can no longer login. Do you know how I can create a new account?)
You’re welcome Eva 🙂
You don’t really explain what you mean by ‘denying yourself’ and why it is so helpful. Denying yourself enough food to give yourself energy? Denying yourself sleep? Denying yourself medical treatment when you’re ill? As another of your posts is about getting treatment for sleep apnoea, I assume that you aren’t recommending the latter two – but if self-denial is always the answer, you don’t explain why not.
You bring up a very good question. I think I don’t directly define self-denial because I’m attempting to raise the question for further reflection by the reader rather than prescribe what self-denials means to you. For me it does not mean denying oneself food, medicine, or any other thing essential for good functioning and well-being. Some may fast for a time – in a religious context to feel closer to God or health context to detox, but not simply deny themselves food for a long time for no good reason (unless on an hunger strike for a noble cause). So the best way I can answer your question is to define what self-denial means to me in this season of my life. Here’s one example – It means spending time with my wife and kids when I’d rather do my own thing and be accountable to no one. I deny myself in this area because I want a deep and satisfying relationship with my family. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I don’t spend time with myself too as that’s essential for me continuing to be present to those I love. I don’t deny myself sleep and addressed my apnea issues because it was affecting my ability to be more present to my family…and I would never recommend denying sleep in any context. So why is self-denial important? Because sometimes we need to give up something we want for another thing we want more. We also need wisdom to discern what causes are worthy of such actions and to determine what, when, and how to deny for accomplishing some larger goal. I’m sorry for the long, rambling answer but I hope helps to show where I’m coming from.